It Came From 'The World'
by Krulmagus
Summary: What happens when Kite loses his mind to obsessive compulsive bunnies bent on global domination? Well, I don't know either but this story might help us find out!
1. Chapter 1

**It Came From 'The World'**

**Chapter 1: A Very Bad Day**

_Disclaimer: Yo, 'sup dawgs. I ain't ownin' no .Hack, yo. Ya, fo' rizzle. But I sho' own dis story, y'all._

**Sometime after Quarantine**

'The World' Announcer: Welcome to 'The World', Kite. Have a freakin' awesome day!

Kite: Okie Dokie, Mr. Announcer man!

Kite felt full of happiness and sunshine as he gated into Dun Loireag. His hat felt warm and cozy with an extra dose of dorky. His blades were put away, for he was too happy and nice to kill even the wickedest of monsters. His hair had been mussed up, in order to make it look even wilder and thus, 'cooler'.

"Tra-La-La-La-Laaaa," sang Kite, his young voice cracking with the strain.

"Please **Never** do that again!" said a voice behind him.

Kite turned around, recognizing the voice. It was Blackrose. She was rubbing her ears as though they were in pain.

"Aw come on. It's fun!" Kite defended. He opened his mouth to start singing again, but gagged as Blackrose's hand covered it.

"Not for the rest of us," she said menacingly.

"Humph," Kite replied, "Why are you so grumpy little Miss party pooper?"

Kite's audacity was quickly rewarded with a quick whack upside the head, sending him on the ground a couple of feet away.

"If you really must know, I lost my favorite toy ducky," growled Blackrose sourly. Her face suddenly and unexpectedly spouted tears as she wailed out for the world to hear, "Mr. Quackers was my bestest friendy wendy in the whole wide wuniverse!" (Yes she just said 'wuniverse'. Oo)

"That's it! Then we will quest to find the lost rubber ducky!" shouted Kite, with ecstasy and joy running rampant across his face. "I know just who to call, for something like this!"

"Who?" Blackrose asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Piros!" cried Kite, looking so excited he might wet himself.

"PIROS?" Blackrose looked so scared she might wet herself. "Have you lost your mind! What on earth would you want to call Piros for?"

"Aw, come on, he's funny and nice, and… he thinks my eyes are dreamy." Kite said. His voice was dancing with the clouds.

Blackrose looked at her partner with disgust. "Don't. Call. Piros." She said emphatically.

"Too late, I already did!" Kite yelled triumphantly.

"He of Fair Eyes!" Piros had entered the server. "You have called me on account of a grand quest, methinks?"

"Yes, He of Oversized Armor, it IS a quest that your gracious self has been called upon!"

In the background, Blackrose could be seen retching, vomiting, trying to pull her hair out, and doing her best to gouge her eyes with one of Kite's blades. (How she got it will forever be a mystery…)

"Well, He of Fair Eyes, What is this Great, Grand, Wonderful, Magnificent, Delightsome, Glorious, Impressive, Prestigious, and freakin' awesome quest going to be?" asked Piros. (Who looked so excited that he was going to wet his armor.)

"Well, He of Oversized Armor, the Great, Grand, Wonderful, Magnificent, Delightsome, Glorious, Impressive, Prestigious, and freakin' awesome quest will be to find She of The Darkest Flower's small duck-like plaything, for it was lost while she was off on Great, Grand, Wonderful, Magnificent, Delightsome, Glorious, Impressive, Prestigious, and freakin' awesome quests of her own, and could not keep track of it."

"How horrendous!" was all Piros could say. (He was speechless by the awe-inspiring speech Kite had just given.)

"'Tis too true, He of Oversized Armor. But, as always, I have a plan that will aid us in this time of darkness."

Piros leaned in close to hear, for Kite's voice had dropped to a whisper. Even Blackrose had stopped implementing self-torture techniques in order to hear the plan.

"The plan is… to search EVERY FIELD 'THE WORLD' HAS TO OFFER, LOOKING FOR IT!" Kite shouted loudly. Both Blackrose and Piros were knocked over by Kite's impressive lung capacity.

"That… is a… Wonderful plan, He of Fair Eyes!" fawned Piros, tears of pure joy springing forth from his eyes.

"That… is a… completely idiotic plan, Kite!" shouted Blackrose, who had had enough of both of them. "You know what? Forget it, I've had it with you guys. I'm outta here."

With that she logged of to go take some aspirin.

Kite and Piros stood staring at where Blackrose had disappeared. Then, looking uncomfortably at each other in an awkward silence that lasted nearly three minutes, they started to slowly walk away.

"W311! b3773r 637 60!n' 7h3n." said Piros, dropping character suddenly. (In real life, he is a 1337 haxxor)

"Ja, … Bis Spatter mein gute freund." replied Kite, also dropping character. (In real life, he is a German philosopher wunderkind)

Piros logged out, and Kite wandered off to poke some grunties who were wandering around.

Then he had a 'wunderbar' idea. He would go visit Mia and Elk. There was no trouble in finding them, for they had lately been hanging out at the same field, so Kite ran off excitedly to the chaos gate.

* * *

Mia and Elk were sitting together in field of wildflowers, relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Then simultaneously (and to make the plot easier to write) they each felt an urge to turn and face the other. Unexpectedly to them (But expectedly to us), their faces connected in what could be considered a kiss. Although both were surprised at this predicament, neither wanted it to end, so it didn't. They held the position for a good five minutes before Kite gated in, and both were so engrossed in the kiss, that neither of them noticed as Kite watched them in horror.

"What are they doing?" Kite thought to himself, "Is it some type of life-saving method?" Suddenly the answer struck him like a brick wall falling from a seven story building. Fortunately, neither of the two lovers noticed the crash as Kite went sprawling under the weight of the wall.

"Mia is a Zombie A.I. whose main purpose in life is to suck other people's souls!"

This sudden truth was so astonishing that Kite screamed with horror before gating out.

"What was that?" asked Mia, finally breaking the soul stealing procedure. It was a good thing that Kite had left for what happened next would have proven his theory beyond any doubt.

Elk fainted.

* * *

Kite had called together his entire team. He could spare no casualties to this new foe.

"I have grave news." he announced when the few stragglers, Nuke and Marlo, had finaly shown up, "It turns out that our good 'friend' Mia, was not the cat we had grown to love. Instead she has become a great evil; one that few could contend with and one that has to be stopped. Already she has taken Elk captive. It is our mission, no, it is our duty to save this poor innocent boy from the clutches of this Evil. Who is with me?"

All heads nodded in solemn agreement. Piros even let loose a little "w007!" of excitement, before remembering to keep in character. Blackrose, who had decided to return, was relieved to find Kite back to normal. Even if they were going off to destroy Elk's best friend, she preferred Kite to be sane while they were doing it, so she had no compunctions about agreeing with the rest of the group.

"Then its agreed." said Kite, his voice grim with determination. "Here is the plan: Everyone excepting Helba and Balmung will follow me in the main assault squad. It is our purpose to ensure the defeat of our traitorous feline friend. Helba, after we have gated into the area, it will be your job to lock it off, so that EZM (Evil Zombie Mia) cannot gate out and escape us. And Balmung, your job will be to grab Elk and fly away with him to a secure location, somewhere nearby. Does everybody understand?" there was a general nodding of heads, so Kite continued, "That is all. May we have good luck and all that yada yada. Let's go."

And so off they went, a large crowd of people known as the dot hackers, off to save their friend from the person who they had known and trusted, while unbeknownst to them, they should have been saving themselves, from an even greater threat. The lovable, trustworthy, philosophical, Kite, who was soon to become the most destructive person 'The World' had ever seen.

**End Chapter 1**

A/N: So what do you think? Please review and I will continue, otherwise it will just be a one shot, I actually want to continue, but I have to know if you guys and gals want it so Review, Review, Review. The Evil Android Overlords command you to do so.


	2. Chapter 2

**It Came from 'The World'**

**Chapter 2: We're from the government; we're here to help**.

* * *

Hello friends, it is I KrulMagus returned after much trial and tribulation to continue the story of "It came from 'The World'" back by popular demand.

_Disclaimer: _No I don't really own .hack (Alien powers have thwarted my attempts to make this not so) but this story comes solely from my mind and gamma radiation.

* * *

Elk gazed lovingly up at Mia, as she stood up from her spot on the field. "Do you… like… me Mia?" he murmured up at her.

Mia bemusedly looked down at Elk and he blushed vigorously.

"Of course I like you, Elk, all your friends do," was her straight-faced reply.

"That's not what I mean and you know it!" Elk was starting to sound frustrated.

"Oh all right," said Mia, "Yes, you are very special to me."

"That's all I wanted to know," Elk sighed as he lay down on the field and closed his eyes.

He did not open them at the sound of multiple people warping in, or for a shout of "There she is!" from a voice somewhere in the distance.

"Mi…a…" was his happy sigh as he drifted to sleep.

Mia turned around to look at Kite and his fellow Dothackers. "Is something the matter?" she asked.

"Oh yes, Mia, something is definitely 'the matter'" Kite's eyes glinted with a cold burn of determination. With a wave of his hand he directed his teammates to form a circle around himself and the tall cat. "I'm sorry that we have been driven to this, but your evil transformation has left us no choice. You are 'the matter' Mia."

"What in 'The World' are you talking about?" Mia was warily looking around at all of her friends surrounding her, their grim faces set with stone.

"You are not the Mia we knew!" Kite shouted as he leapt forward, blades flashing. He was stopped with a clang by Mia's short sword. "You may have taken Elk in with your mind-numbing soul sucking, but will never harm another of my friends!" Kite's blades made little flurries of wind as he speedily darted in and out stabbing and swiping at Mia.

Mia, who was only trying to defend herself, shouted out protest, but to no avail. Kite could not hear.

"For ELK!" he cried with a powerful lunge. "Quickly Balmung, grab Elk's corpse and escape. I will hold her off --"

He glanced back to see if Balmung was carrying out his orders and was stunned to see all his friends staring at him with disbelief.

"What is the matter with all of you can you not see we are in the midst of a battle? We must protect ourselves from this monster who has taken control of Mia!"

"Umm, Kite? I'm not evil." Mia's sword was thrust into the soil as she stood arms on hips. "Elk's soul isn't stolen and I have no idea why you would think it was."

"Yeah Kite, she obviously isn't trying to kill anyone, here." That was Blackrose. She was frowning at Kite with a hint of some doubt as to his sanity.

"But – but I saw her sucking Elk's soul straight through his mouth! They were right there sitting next to each other and then their lips touched and Elks soul left him. I saw it!"

Mia was confused for a second, and then cracked up laughing. "You mean you saw us kiss just then? And you thought I was sucking out his soul? What a little naïveté you are. It's called a Kiss. A KISS."

Everyone except for Kite and Piros burst out laughing. "A kiss?" Kite scratched his head, "it must be a cat thing."

Piros was looking at Elk with what could only be called envy. "5oM3 P33p5 jU57 h4v3 4ll 73h Lu K…" he muttered to himself. Quietly.

"Umm, yeah, well…" Blackrose was blushing for some reason, " I'll, just be leaving now." She gated out.

"Dental appointment,", "Gottta clean my room.", "Is it dinner time already?" One by one everyone except for Kite, Mia, and Elk logged out.

"O.K.," Kite said looking down at Elk's sleeping character, " I have no idea what this is all about, but whatever." I'll be going now."

"Yes. Yes you will." Mia said firmly.

**End Chapter 2**

A/N: Well there you have it… short sweet and not nearly as good as the original. But it's late and I can't focus my ridiculousity at the moment, so you'll have to take it as it is. Thanks for all the support I've had on this story. I bet you guys thought I was never going to come back, huh?


	3. Chapter 3

**It Came From 'The World'**

**Chapter 3—Rabbits: cute little creatures… Or are they?!**

Hmm… Well I think I will continue this story despite having no clue what I am doing. Maybe it will actually be better that way.

P.S. remember to review, otherwise this story will return to the eternal abyss of scorned stories (that's a bad thing).

* * *

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Oh, you don't think it would be a good idea?"

"Why a 'give-away event' with free bunnies? What's the point of it?"

"It's a source of pride so that people can say they were there. It's really hot with the kiddies these days, you know."

"Fine. Whatever. I can't believe that you're actually on the payroll for this kind of thing."

"What was that? Did you say something?"

"Good-bye Balmung…"

* * *

Kite gazed at the notice board with drool hanging from his mouth. His eyes had a distant, glazed over sort of look. He didn't even notice Blackrose beating some innocent n00b for accidentally stepping on her toe. He didn't even ponder the why or wherefore of how Blackrose would be able to feel someone step on her toe in a game.

The notice board was all.

"Bunnies…" He gazed at the board dreamily, "Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnies."

You see, Kite has a thing for fluffy sorts of things. Especially when those fluffy things are soft. Furry too. Don't tell Mia. She'd never let him forget it.

"Kite!" Blackrose was apparently done picking on people, "What are drooling about, Kite?"

"Bunnnnnnnnnnnnny," Kite couldn't turn his head.

"Bunny? What on earth? Oh my gosh, NO KITE, pornographic bunny girls are NOT the answer!"

"Huh? What?" Kite finally looked around, "Oh hi, Blackrose! You got whatever you were looking for?"

"Kite, what were you doing just a second ago?!"

"Huh? Oh I was reading the Event Notice Board! There going to have an event where they give away cute little bunny pets! Cool, huh?"

"Hmm, bunny pets? Not some other kind of bunny?"

"What other kind of bunny is there?"

"...You don't want to know…"

* * *

DELTA: Portending Doom Forusalle

Kite and Blackrose warped in just as some administrator floated up above a crowd of people, his voice projecting out to all in the area.

"May I have your attention, please?"

He wasn't phased by the shouts of "Boo" or "Get off the bloody stage" In fact after one particularly weird and uncalled-for comment he actually winked and gave a bow.

"Thank you for coming to tonight's event. Prepare to be delighted and 'cuted out' by today's special prize. Because of your wonderful patronage of 'The World' and because my employer won't pay me if I don't, you will all receive a nice little bunny companion."

At these words a projection screen popped up beside the administrator. The image of a playful little rabbit sprang forth and began adopting cute postures.

"As you will see, the bunny can be stored like any item but when used it will appear and follow you wherever you go. Be sure to keep it happy and healthy and give it lots of love, just as if it were a real animal."

"I wonder how much experience killing one of those things is worth," said Blackrose, rubbing her hands together in what could only be evil anticipation. Kite was staring at the cute little bunny. Drooling again.

"In order to increase the level of interactivity with these cuddly wonders of joy, Special items will be placed throughout 'The World' that will increase its affection and health and happiness. It's up to you to keep it alive and hopping. Good luck!"

With that, the administrator descended, the projection winked out of existence, and people started shouting out with joy as they received their new bunny.

"I wonder how the grunties will feel about this," some random person next to Kite and Blackrose said.

Blackrose looked at the kid. "I doubt the grunties will feel anything," she said. It almost sounded serious.

* * *

"Buuuunnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyy," Kite was holding his rabbit up in his hands. Or at least, Blackrose thought it was a rabbit. It was a ball of fluff that had some sort of stubs that vaguely resembled ears. There was no sign of legs or feet or even eyes. The only thing that could actually be made out was a row of incredibly sharp teeth. The bunny proceeded to bite Kite's head. It didn't let go.

"I think it likes me!" Kite said happily. The …bunny … thing … was frothing at the mouth, "I'll name you Mepp!"

"Kite, what is that thing doing to you?!" Blackrose pointed a shaking finger up at the bunny who seemed to be making progress on gnawing Kite's hat to shreds.

"He must be trying to show his love!" Kite was grinning at the bunny. He reached up to pet it and immediately had his gloved ripped off.

"Kite, that thing is trying to EAT you!" Blackrose had drawn her sword, "Now hold still as I knock it away from you."

"Oh did you want to play with Mepp too, Blackrose?" The bunny was now ripping out tufts of Kite's hair trying to get to the skull, presumably.

Blackrose hit it with her broad sword. It didn't budge.

"Let's go find something to feed it! C'mon!" Kite dashed off looking for a treasure chest. Blackrose gave a grunt of despair and chased after him.

"Kite, you don't need to feed it, it's already eating YOU!" It was useless. Kite was lost to her. She stopped running and slumped against a convenient nearby stone. "What an idiot. What a lovable idiot that kid is."

The bunny was hungry.

The bunny wanted food, but more than that, the bunny wanted Power, Control.

"Brains…" it said to itself.

"Squeak," it said to the world.

Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnnnnnnnn…

**End Chapter 3**

A/N: Well here we are. The scene is set. The characters introduced. The bunnies unleashed. Now all we need is for you to review. Review. REVIEW. You know you want to.


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